The advice takes trust. We typically only take advice from the people we trust. So the question then is, how do we expose ourselves to people who we may not usually know, which means that we may not usually trust them? However, they could actually provide amazing advice for us.
Why do we even need to build trust?
Especially think about how to build trust. So the first thing about building trust is that you need to connect with the person. If it feels wrong, it is wrong, and if it feels wrong, if this person feels wrong, then you’re rarely ever going to be able to have a relationship with them. So the key is to understand-
- Why does it feel wrong?
- Is it a personality fit?
- Is it a cultural fit or do they just not fit with you?
- If that person just cannot fit with you, well then you probably can’t be coached by them and be coachable.
In order for someone to trust us. First, we need to be true to our word and follow through on our actions. We need to be able to communicate effectively. So the person that we are communicating with needs to understand the advice that we’re giving them. We need to realize that it takes time. Moreover, the advice that we’re giving needs to be built on respect, honesty, and experience.
Secondly, we need to explain the advice that we’re giving really well so that the other person can understand our perspective and why we’re giving them that advice. Thus, they can then make the decision before thinking and acting too quickly.
Moreover, we have to value the relationship that we have because those relationships have taken time to develop. As well as, we need to develop the skills of our team and ourselves. We need to be honest. One really important thing is to not hide your feelings about the decision that a person’s going to make. However, to express it in a very emotionally intelligent way.
How do we build trust at work?
You need to always do what you believe to be right and if you’ve made a mistake, you need to admit your mistakes. That’s how you trust another person. When a business owner or a CEO is asking for advice, you need to give advice best for them, for their business, with what you know, and with what they know at this time.
Resist giving advice that creates additional work for yourself. For instance, I was recently working with a client and one of the advisors on the advisory board made a decision with the rest of the advisors for the recommendations to the CEO for a decision. The CEO then made the decision in alignment with the advisor’s advice, only for us to find out the next day that this advisor had had a one-on-one conversation with the CEO that then created additional work for him.
Do we as an advisory board now trust this advisor? Not really. The advice takes trust. That is why, not only had this advisor lost the advisory board’s trust, they’ve also lost the trust of the CEO. As an advisor, you need to be able to give advice that could potentially cost yourself work. So for example-
… my advisory boards are very clear that I will be working with them for an 18 month period. My expectation is that I’ve been able to connect them with the right advisors that they’ve needed at the right time, and at the end of the 18 month period, the advisory board will be succession planned to a new advisory board. I want all of my business owners and CEOs to outgrow me. I want them to be better than me; I want them to have the next advisory board chair, which is even better than me and will meet what they need at that time in their business.
Our job is to do ourselves out of a job, and if we’re not comfortable with that, then we won’t be as good advisors as we could be. We also need the business owner to trust that the advice that we’re giving them may be uncomfortable for them but is based on what we know at this time. It’s like when you go to a doctor, the doctor may say, “Oh look, Corinne, you really need to cut down on your carbs because you’re putting on the kilos. And it’s all about what you put in your mouth: minute on the lips, a year on the hips.” So I might not like the advice that the doctor’s giving me.
However, I trust his advice. It’s then up to me to make a decision with that information and do what’s best for my business or my body. The same is true of business owners. Trust the advice that you’re given, and then do something with it.